“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately
sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9 ESV
A study by Harris Interactive on
behalf of bodybuilding.com found that 73% of people who set fitness goals will
quit their goals by the end of the year. I’m sure these people had all the best
intentions and plans to meet a goal that would improve their lives, but have
you noticed how few people follow through with their goals?
The wise Jedi once said, “Try not! Do or do not, there is no try!” Easy for you to say Yoda. I resonate more with what the apostle Paul wrote:
What am I missing?
"I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do
what is wrong, but I do it anyway.20 But if I do what I
don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me
that does it. 21 I
have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I
inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I
love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But
there is another power within me that is at war with my mind." Romans 7:19-23
Changing habits is hard. People universally agree that smoking is bad for your health, yet tobacco remains a multi-billion dollar industry. People want to lose weight, improve relationships, change spending habits, and so on, yet few are the ones that actually accomplish their goals.
Changing habits is hard. People universally agree that smoking is bad for your health, yet tobacco remains a multi-billion dollar industry. People want to lose weight, improve relationships, change spending habits, and so on, yet few are the ones that actually accomplish their goals.
Why can’t I stop?
I tried to quit watching sexual
images on media numerous times. I knew it wasn’t helping me personally. I
didn’t like that I worked to keep an area of my life secret from others. I
prayed often, got heavily involved with church activities, and read books, but
even after marriage (now I can have sex, so the problem should go away, right?)
I could not shake this habit consistently. Sure, I would have some weeks of
sobriety here and there, and maybe on a rare occasion go a month free from it,
but then there it was. I was back at it again…. and hating myself.
What am I missing?
I did not see it then, but I was
missing a critical piece to the recovery process. All of the most success treatment
modalities include it. Ask anyone who has had ongoing success in managing
addictions and a life free from scandals, and they will tell you. Ask those who
you have noticed have sterling character. Ask those with marriages that made
you think “Wow I want a romance like that
someday!” What is one thing these people have in common? Accountability. They live a life of
accountability to trusted friends, their spouse, mentors or a mix of all three.
I trusted myself too much. I relied on my feelings for not wanting to engage in
addictive behavior and thought that would be enough to give me the freedom I
longed for. It took me 13 years of this addiction to realize “I can’t overcome
this alone.” Joining a local group of men committed to living in freedom every
day was the best thing I did for overcoming the power of secrecy and addiction
in my life. It gave me courage to
confront my demons, taught me to live a life of transparency, and gave me a
kick in the rump when I needed it.
Count the Cost
It makes sense, doesn’t it? The chances of meeting a
goal greatly increase if more people are helping you meet it. Maybe I knew this
growing up, but the horror of letting someone in on my secret seemed to
outweigh any benefit of telling them.
Also, if I was honest, perhaps I liked having my addiction around and
was not ready to get rid of it quite yet.
The influence of others is powerful and essential and the ONLY means to the
ongoing sobriety of an addict. Why do you still not have accountability?
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the
companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20 ESV
The truth will set you free…
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